The End Game.

We’re all playing some version of a game, moving through life making decisions, pursuing goals, building towards something. But here’s the question that keeps me up at night: what exactly is the end game? What are we all ultimately working towards?

The Unexamined Game

Most people are so busy playing the game that they never stop to ask what winning actually looks like. We chase promotions, accumulate possessions, build relationships, achieve milestones - but to what end?

It’s like being really good at climbing a ladder without ever checking if it’s leaning against the right wall.

The Default End Games

Society offers us several pre-packaged end games:

The Wealth Game: Accumulate as much money and possessions as possible The Status Game: Climb as high as you can on various social hierarchies
The Legacy Game: Leave behind something that will outlast you The Experience Game: Collect as many interesting experiences as possible The Impact Game: Make the world better in some measurable way

But what if none of these are actually the right game to be playing?

The Mortality Reality Check

Here’s the uncomfortable truth that changes everything: this game has a definite end point. We all know how it ends, we just don’t know when.

This isn’t meant to be morbid - it’s meant to be clarifying. When you really internalize that your time is finite, it changes how you think about what’s worth pursuing.

The Deathbed Test

I’ve started using what I call the deathbed test for major decisions: when I’m old and looking back, what will I wish I had done more of? What will I regret not doing?

The answers are rarely about money, status, or possessions. They’re usually about relationships, experiences, personal growth, and contribution to others.

The Happiness Trap

“I just want to be happy” sounds like a reasonable end game, but I think it’s actually a trap. Happiness is a byproduct, not a destination. Chasing it directly often leads to disappointment and a shallow life.

The people who seem happiest aren’t the ones chasing happiness - they’re the ones engaged in something meaningful that happens to bring them joy.

The Meaning Question

Maybe the real end game isn’t achieving something specific, but finding meaning in the process. Viktor Frankl argued that humans can endure almost anything if they find meaning in it.

But meaning isn’t something you find lying around - it’s something you create through your choices, relationships, and contributions.

The Growth Game

What if the end game is simply becoming the best version of yourself? Not in competition with others, but in service to your own potential.

This game never really ends because there’s always more to learn, more ways to grow, more of yourself to discover and develop.

The Connection Game

Looking at what actually matters to people at the end of their lives, relationships consistently rank at the top. The quality of your connections with other humans might be the ultimate scorecard.

How many people truly know you? How many people are better off because you were in their life? How much love did you give and receive?

The Contribution Game

There’s something powerful about knowing that your existence made things a little better. Not necessarily in grand, world-changing ways, but in small, human ways that ripple outward.

Did you help someone when they needed it? Did you create something valuable? Did you leave your corner of the world a little better than you found it?

The Paradox of End Games

Here’s the interesting paradox: the people who seem to be winning at life often aren’t the ones obsessively focused on their end game. They’re the ones fully engaged in the present moment, in their current relationships, in their immediate challenges.

Maybe the real end game is learning to play the game well, not just to win it.

The Personal Audit

I’ve been doing a personal audit lately, asking myself:

  • What game am I actually playing?
  • Did I choose this game, or did it choose me?
  • If I keep playing this way, where will I end up?
  • Is that where I want to be?

The answers have been… illuminating.

The Multiple Games Problem

Maybe the issue isn’t finding the one right end game, but recognizing that we’re playing multiple games simultaneously: the career game, the relationship game, the health game, the personal growth game.

The challenge is balancing these games so that winning in one doesn’t mean losing in all the others.

The Time Horizon Question

Your end game probably depends on your time horizon. What you’re optimizing for in the next year might be different from what you’re optimizing for over the next decade, which might be different from what you want your entire life to add up to.

Short-term games and long-term games often conflict, and choosing between them reveals what you really value.

The Changing Game

Here’s something I’m learning: your end game can evolve. What seemed important at 20 might feel trivial at 40. What you thought was the point might turn out to be just preparation for the real point.

Staying flexible about your end game while staying committed to playing with integrity - that might be the real skill.

The Ultimate Question

So what is the end game? I don’t think there’s one right answer, but I think there’s one right approach: be intentional about it.

Don’t just drift through life playing whatever game society hands you. Don’t just optimize for what’s easy to measure. Don’t just follow the path that others have laid out.

Stop and ask yourself: if this is the only life I get, what game do I want to be playing?

What’s your end game? When you strip away all the noise and expectations, what are you really working towards? Sometimes the most important question is the one we’re afraid to ask.